Beyond saving

She kind of looks like one of my coworkers...

Dream.  I am standing in front of the biggest church I have ever seen in my life.  The steps up to the front entrance would be equivalent to more than three flights of stairs.  I am surrounded by hundreds of church-goers and everyone is slowly trickling into the church.  Chad, Andy, and I are still standing at the bottom of the steps when Jon comes walking over and says: 

"Are you going in?"

"Yeah I think so."

"You're going to love it.  There's hella hot girls in there.  Church girls are the hottest."

He starts walking in.  We stand around a little longer and Chad and Andy are trying to convince me to go in and check it out.  I am not a religious man in any sense, but I finally give in and we start walking up the stairs.  As we're walking up the hundreds of steps, an old lady who looked like a real life version of the sorceress from Beauty and the Beast start mumbling something.

As we walked by, she pointed her finger at me and said "Not all souls can be saved..."

Ominous...

We go inside and there is a sign in sheet in the lobby.  I ask Chad to sign me in and he picks up a Crayola marker.  As he uncaps it, he realizes that it is not a marker but a stamp.  I have not seen those things in ages!  We sign in and walk through the doors and see that the hundreds of people outside have withered down to about 20 people.  Where did everyone go?!  Sorcery!!! This is why I do not go to church.  They will make you disappear.

While looking for the picture above, I stumbled across this excellent post from another blogger.

http://jacksfilmblog.blogspot.com/2009_04_01_archive.html

Definitely the funniest thing I have read today.  Just brilliant.  It is a rather quick read if you have the time.  Enjoy.  Cheers.

-Thundalips