A series of unfortunate events that is my life.

^^One of six new tracks on the re-release of Fearless.  Probably my favorite of the six.

Let's start off November's blog with dream sequences.  Last week I had a couple of dreams that were memorable for different reasons.  In the first dream, me, Anjuli, Andy, and a few other friends were walking out of some store and through the parking lot.  As we were walking to our car, hundreds of field mice scurried their way out of the bushes from an island between the parked cars.  I grabbed one by the tail and put it in a plastic box, the kind that turtles are sold in.  Then, I took it home and put some water in the box.  Just enough to cover its feet.  The mouse started absorbing all of the water like the spongy dinosaurs that you soak in water.  It grew big enough to fill the box and that's all I remember.  My second dream was terrifying.  I was in my room arguing with my dad for some reason and it got really heated.  He muttered in Chinese something like, "My own kids don't even love or respect me."  He started to walk away towards my sister room and I tried to stop him.  As I approached the doorway of my sister's room, I saw him open the window.  I could tell this was not going to end well.  He opened the window and jumped out as I reached out to stop him.  That's all I remember and it was pretty depressing to wake up from that dream.

It made me feel guilty for mistreating him for all these years.  My father is a very difficult man to understand and deal with which is still no excuse.  For the past few days, I've been trying to talk to him more, but, like me, he's in a funk that he can't shake.  It's depressing just knowing how depressed he is.  My mom also tells me that he may be going through the initial stages of Alzheimer's which is even more depressing.  It's believable.  My mom said he probably has five to ten years left before it really starts to affect his daily life.  At this point, he's already forgetting people's names and has trouble remembering little things.  I guess I'll need to try and patch things up.  Time to learn to be more patient.

Unfortunately, my patience has run out for a certain someone.  This person will remain nameless but a few people know what's going on.  I guess it's interesting to actually know someone THAT narcissistic.  To be clear, narcissism does not mean loving yourself.  The correct definition of a narcissist is someone who loves the image they project of themselves.  You may not like who you are on the inside, but you take pride and enjoy the image you present of yourself to others.

People are oblivious.  To quote Frank Outlaw, "Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny."  Definitely one of my favorite quotes of all time and applicable to everyday life.  If everyone would be more aware of their actions and how it affects everyone else, the world would be a better place.  I am, in no way, saying that I am perfect.  But, I at least take responsibility for my actions.  For the most part.  I think...  But, what can we do.  The human race is built on selfishness.  Challenge?

Which brings me to my next point.  If I ever go back to school, I am definitely joining the debate team.  Doesn't matter what school.  I don't think I enjoy anything as much as winning an argument.

I guess that's all for now...

-Alex Thunderlips