Lucid dream

Andy.  Listen to that.  I think you will like it.

Last night I think I may have had my first lucid dream.  It began with Gary, Andy, and me in my car.  We were driving around my block looking for parking and as I pulled into a spot, I see a car coming at me from the other side of the road.  It was almost as if he were trying to pull into the same space but facing the wrong way.  As he got closer, I got nervous and put the car in reverse to try to minimize impact of the head-on collision.  When he got close, I could see that the driver is actually Lil Wayne.  He got to a point where he was inches from hitting my car and I stuck my leg out under my car, past my gas pedals, and kick his front bumper.  I am not sure how that would be physically possible unless there was no front ends to either of our cars but it was a dream, not reality.  Anyhow, I kicked his car but he still hit my car anyways and the force drove my car up the curb and into a car behind me.  My car had been damaged in the front and back while his car was in slightly better shape since only his front end was damaged.  We got out of our cars and somehow instead of Lil Wayne, it was Julian.  He approached me and asked if I was ok.  Everyone was fine and we started talking about what we would do in terms of insurance and damages.  Julian refused to go through insurance and offered to pay me cash for the damages but would only cover the front end damage.  He was saying he only hit the front of my car and the back was my fault for not stopping in time.  It was pretty ridiculous and we argued until he got mad enough to walk away.  He went into the home we were standing in front of and a few seconds later, Josh Tran comes out.  He starts jabbering about how it was my fault to begin with and Julian was not going to pay for the damages.  At this point I am just flabbergasted.  I think to myself, "I wish Anjuli was here to deal with this ass hole."   Then out of no where Anjuli comes up from behind me and punches Josh in the face and he falls to the floor. 

That was all I could remember but towards the end I felt like I was actually aware that it was a dream and willed Anjuli into it.  It was kind of cool.  Hopefully I can control more of my dreams soon.  That would be most excellent. 

I changed my mind about scarification.  It looks way too hardcore for me.  Infection city. 

WARNING! THE FOLLOWING VIDEO IS NOT FOR THOSE WITH WEAK STOMACHS!



Until next time,

Scarification is more pronounced when kept open for a longer period of time.  Toothpaste and citrus juice is often used to produce more defined scars.  PASS!

-Alex Thunderlips

It's been a long time

I completely forgot Jet Li was in this music video.

Time to play some ketchup.  Let's start off with a couple of dreams I had.  It's been a while since I had these dreams so I may not be able to recapture all the magic.  These descriptions are the best I can come up with from what I've written in my dream notebook.

Dream 1 goes a little something like this:

I start out in some sort of sex dungeon and I have no clue what's going on or where I really am but somehow I know it's a sex dungeon.  James appears out of no where and helps me escape.  As soon as we get outside we split up and agree to meet back at the Academy of Sciences.  As I get to the Academy of Science, the front door is is closed.  Still being pursued by my captors, I run around the building looking for another entrance.  Surprisingly, there was an Office Depot connected to the museum.  I walk in through the exit instead of the entrance to confuse the people chasing me (like it would actually confused  someone...).  When I make my way down the aisles inside the store, I pass by an aisle with medieval armor and weapons.  I grab some stuff and get ready in case it comes down to fisticuffs.  As I walk further into the store, I can see that the rooms are starting to look more like inside castle walls.  It's like a market with a bunch of stuff going on with hay or straw all over the floor.  In one section I see James getting suited up to joust.  He gets on his horse and goes after the other guy but they're both knocked to the ground.  As he gets up, James takes off his helmet and conjures up some sort of spell and shoots lightning at this guy and kills him.  Rainbow comes running from some corner and hugs him.  At that point, I notice Chadwick and Gary are standing next to me and all I said to them was, "They are going to have some ugly babies..."

Dream 2.  GO!

I find myself in some sort of maze.  Not realizing where I am I start to explore the area.  Then I see mice running around me, but these mice are the size of cars!  Confused and scared, I run around looking for somewhere to hide.  I then realize that the mice weren't actually the size of cars.  It was actually me who had shrank down to the size of an army man.  I start to feel more at ease and walk outside of the hole we were in.  As I walk outside, a lady, who is normal sized, bends down and tells me she can make me big again if I help her trap the mice and kill them.  Now I'm conflicted.  I know I'm still human but I felt like I had some kind of bond with the mice.  I wanted to be regular sized again so I agree.  She uses some sort of magic and makes me my normal size and I notice I'm actually at my grandma's house.  I never actually help her find the mice, but instead do something worse.  I walk towards the back of the house and my brother Doug tells me to help him bring Tupac (our dog) outside to the yard.  He's clearly upset and I asked why.  He said that our mom told us we couldn't keep the dog anymore and we had to get rid of him.  We brought him outside and put him in a small tub and Doug douses him with bottles of lighter fluid.  Still hoping he wasn't going to do what I thought he was about to do, I take a step back.  Then he pulls a lighter out of his pocket and throws it in the tub and sets our dog on fire.  Tupac sat there in the tub without flinching and just howled as he was on fire.  Instead of burning like any normal animal, Tupac began to melt instead.  One of my uncles who lives next door opened his backyard window and looks at what we're doing and yells "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"  Doug and I panic and run back in the house where my aunt shakes her head at Doug and says, "See.  I told you you couldn't take care of him for more than 6 months..."

Until next time,

The correct name for "pulling-out" is coitus interruptus.  Oh you fancy huh?

-Alex Thunderlips

You want to dancing?

Not normally the type of music I post on this blog but it's just too damn catchy to avoid it.  Song courtesy of UK's Top 40 - week of July 4. 

This weekend I missed a dubstep event at Club 6.  To see what I was missing out on, I started youtubeing some dubstep songs which led me to dubstep dancing.  DO THE MELBOURNE SHUFFLE!



The Asian guy or girl at 2:25 is a beast.  I'm 70-80% sure it's all in the pants.  Here's another one to keep your mind exploding:





"hahaha girl is dong shuffle
tits are doing jumptsyle xD"
-masterboymanuel

Best comment on that video.  If you're not familiar with jumpstyle, it's dumb but here it is:



And here is the epic dance party!



I wish I could start something that epic...

Gary came over yesterday and tried to melbourne shuffle.  Of course, like everything else, he was pretty good at it.  And it was his first time trying it.  He was shuffling around Tupac and confusing him.  Tupac thought he wanted to play and was barking at Gary while he shuffled all around Tupac.  It was hilarious.  Time to break out my parachute pants and neon suspenders cause it's time to shuffle!

Until next time,

The name Melbourne shuffle originated from ravers in Melbourne, Australia. 

-Thunderlips

Away but not gone

I've been close to obsessed with this band lately.  Listen to it.  You won't be sorry.  It does start a little slow though.  Their sound is just so wonderfully refreshing and different.  The combination of instruments is so unusual but somehow manage to produce major eargasms. 

Back to basics.  I had a dream last night that was definitely brought on by the happenings of hours before I went to bed.  I was back at Roe, where I had been that night, and instead of celebrating Aline's birthday, everyone was celebrating mine.  Standing in front of me at the bar, I see a woman with beautiful curves.  Her blonde hair was soaked for some reason like she had just gotten out of the shower.  The DJ stopped the music and she turned around and it was... wait for it... Beyonce!  With a mic in her hand, she started singing a very beautiful rendition of Happy Birthday.  After the song we left Roe for a late-night bite via limo.  The next thing I remember is finishing eating and heading back home in a helicopter.  I guess I ride in style in my dreams.

As mentioned above, last night's dream was probably due to the things that happened earlier when I actually went to Roe to celebrate Aline's birthday followed by a late-night meal in Chinatown.  I must admit, the beginning of the night was a bit lackluster but by the end of the night, I was glad to be there.

The highlight was definitely sharing a meal (not literally) with seven other people, three of whom were inebriated.  Kevin was slurring and acting a fool.  When the waitress asked what we would like to drink, he said "Oh!  I know what I need right now.  Do you have Gatorade?  I'll have the red kind."  The waitress had no idea what he was talking about and Jimmy was just rolling.  After we ordered drinks Jimmy put his face down on his menu and someone made an inappropriate comment that made him choke and spit all over his menu.  Gary was also trying his best to speak Cantonese which eventually led to an interesting translation of Rude Boy by Rihanna.  Another girl, Diana, was being belligerent and yelling at Kevin for not eating his food.  She was complaining about how he had ordered food but was not eating any of it, but when I looked over at her side, there was no plate in front of her.  I asked her why she was yelling at Kevin for not eating when she didn't even have a plate in front of her and she just smiled innocently.  I can't remember a time when I had that much fun being sober watching drunk people.

I woke up this morning with a moderately sized bruise on my right knee.  It may be the stupidest self-inflicted injury of the year (so far.  I'm sure there will be more).  After watching two hours of Ninja Warrior on G4, I had an itch to Spider Climb my hallway.  What does that mean?  It means this.



I did not anticipate how slippery the walls in my hallway would be and I fell almost immediately when I jumped up.  My knee ran right into the wall.  It was ridiculous.   Damn you Ninja Warrior. 

I've also been working on my playoff beard.  It's a work in progress.  The Sharks have been playing very well but are at the short end of the series.  They stand behind the Avalanche 1-2.  I have a feeling the sharks will wear them down soon and victories are inevitable.  C'mon Sharks!  I'm not growing this beard for nothing!

I guess that'll do for now.  You'll just have to live with what I give you.

Until next time,

OMGWTFBBQ?!

-Alex Thunderlips

Poetic Justice

On Monday my family and I went to a lunch buffet in Daly City called Kome.  My uncle suggested it because it was a new restaurant.  He had already eaten there a few times and said the food was really good.  Since I'm almost always up for new eats, I went with my mom, uncle, and aunt.  If you know where Todai used to be in Daly City, that's where it's at.

When we get there, we see the line is ridiculously long.  The restaurant opens at 11 and we arrive there at 10:45.  The entire lobby is wall to wall of people trying to get a table.  Meanwhile, my uncle arrives and tells us there's no wait.  So we follow him and the four of us walk all the way to the back of the room and sit down at a table.  Apparently my uncle knows the owner.

I have never seen so many Asians in my entire life.  Chinese people have a tendency to try new Chinese restaurants in bunches.  I thought the line to get a table ridiculous.  Little did I know, the line for food was worse.  The restaurant has the exact layout of what used to be Todai.  There is a separate island for sushi and salad, an island (more like a row) for hot foods, a noodle station, and a dessert section.  Since I had sushi on Sunday night, I opted for hot food.  I lined up all the way in the back of the line which moved as fast as molasses.

It took more than 20 minutes for me to reach the plates.  All the while, I was harassed by a toddler standing behind me with an empty plate he grabbed from another section.  This fat Asian boy had no sense of personal space and kept bumping into my behind.   As you may know, my rather large posterior isn't exactly impossible to avoid, but this kid had every intention of ignoring my personal bubble.  He bumped me at least 20 times while I was waiting in line for food and each time he did I turned around to stare him down.  After about ten times, the kid's father finally tells him not to stand so close.  Finally.  Some relief.  That's what I thought at least.  Next thing you know, the kid lifts his plate, digging into the bottom of my ass.  He literally put my ass on his plate.  At that point I'd had enough.  I waited and baited him.  Slowly the line moved and I stood still hoping he'd get closer.  Then,                      (for dramatic effect)             I totally let one rip in his face.  He was at the perfect height to eat every fecal particle I had to offer.  Victory is sweet.

Enough with the story.  Onward of the review.  The food was actually pretty tasty for a buffet.  I would definitely recommend it even though Yelp users gave it low scores.  Considering lunch buffet is 10.95, it is definitely worth a shot.  My uncle tells me that a few of the chefs were actually from Koi Palace so you know at least some of the food is made by professionals.  The Chinese BBQ and dim sum section is definitely the highlight of the buffet.

As we left the restaurant, we all got a peek of the line.  The line at this point (1PM) stretched past the next two or three store fronts.  My uncle told me that the owner of Kome got many complaints from the neighboring restaurants about its patrons blocking the entrances to their shops.  Most of the reviews you'll see on Yelp complain about the wait but if you have the inside track or don't mind going early this is definitely a place to check out at least once.  [End review]

Last night I had a very strange dream.  Chadwick, Andy, Gary, Anjuli, Kevin, a few other friends and I were sitting in a circle somewhere outside.  For some reason in this dream, Chadwick had a baby (his) in his lap and was bouncing him up and down.  Chad turned to me and asked me if I could hold the baby while he grabbed something from a bag.  I take the baby and hold him so he's facing outward.  With one hand under the baby's bottom and the other across his body, I wait for Chadwick to grab whatever he needed.  I look at the baby's face and I know what's coming next.  Doo doo butter.  I yell at Chad and tell him to take the baby before he defecates on me, but everyone just watches as the baby craps all over my hand.  Everyone there starts laughing at me which upsets me.  I look at Chad and he's laughing so hard he's on the floor.  With the crap in my hand I chuck it at him and hit him square in the chest.  Everyone continues laughing and Chad throws it at someone else.  Next thing I know, everyone is throwing doo doo at everyone and I'm carrying the baby under one arm and diving out of the way while throwing doo doo bombs at people.  [End dream]

Poetic justice...

Until next time,

Keep the doo doo to yourself.

-Alex Thunderlips

POWER METAL!

Craving power metal lately.

Crazy dream last night.  I had to write down everything I could remember before I forgot.

It started with Andy, Gary, Chad and me at a ghetto high school.  We were surrounded by hundreds of black people and the four of us were preparing for a rap battle.  We all had our notebooks out with our scribbled rhymes deciding who would go first.  Then our names were called and we walked toward the stage.  I dropped my notebook and when I looked up the three of them were gone.  Out of nowhere, four white guys (wiggas) jumped me from behind and the smallest guy gave me an atomic wedgie.  At that point I'm not feeling the rap competition so I walk away.  All the black people I walk past are asking me where I was going and how they wanted to see me perform.  Apparently, in my dreams, I'm a very good rapper.

I left the high school and got into a car where I met up with my black girlfriend (why are there so many black people in my dream?).  I told her about the atomic wedgie and decided that I wanted to get even.  We knew where the wiggas were going so we drove to a parking garage where they were going to wait them out.  At that point, we find the perfect vantage point to watch the entrance of the garage.  The plan was to seal them inside and fight them.  Then, my dream girlfriend hands me a box of C4 rigged together as a car bomb.  I said that was too drastic and I just wanted to get even.

We wait for a bit and Andy, Gary, and Chad meet up with us.  As I step out of the car to approach them, the four wiggas turn the corner and are right in front of me.  I immediately throw the small one through the window of the house we're standing next to and the other three guys run.  The small wigga is stunned after I had thrown him through the window.  I grab a wooden chair and smash it over his head.  Out cold.  Awesome.

As I walk away, someone suggests going to Henry's house to play Call of Duty.  I agree and we start to drive over there.  When we get there, I look at the TV and it has the most absurd dimensions I've ever seen.  It was ridiculously long horizontally but very short in terms of height.  It was so distorted I had trouble seeing all four players on the screen.  Oh yea, and for some reason Virginia was already at Henry's house when we got there.  [End dream]

Until next time,

Gotta love the blacks...

-Alex Thunderlips

This is war.

Talented man that Jared Leto.

Wednesday was a great day.  The day started with a bunch of errands.  I went to Costco to return some gifts and buy stuff for the house.  Then I went to Best Buy to return some more gifts before returning home.  Nothing special yet.  I made plans with My to have lunch in Oakland.  Since I was going to the Sharks game with Ya, it was easier if I was already in Oakland.  So I bussed and Barted to Oakland where My was supposed to pick me up.  I waited at the West Oakland station for about 15-20 minutes.  During that time I stood at the bus stop while listening to my Ipod.  After a few minutes of waiting, I hear someone behind me say, "Excuse me."  I turn around and reply, "Yes?."  The black lady then says, "I don't mean to be too forward, but I have to say, you have a really nice ass."  I couldn't hep but smile.  I said thanks and she started talking to me and the conversation went something like this:

Black Lady:  Are you waiting for a ride?
Me:  Yea.  My friend is picking me up.  She should be here soon.
Black Lady:  Is she your girlfriend?
Me:  No, just a really good friend.
Black Lady:  Where you guys going?
Me: Meeting up some other friends.
Black Lady:  All guys?
Me:  No, there's going to be some girls.
Black Lady:  Girlfriend?
Me: No I don't have a girlfriend.
Black Lady:  Really?  Handsome guy like you with a nice figure like that and no girlfriend?
Me:  Yep.
Black Lady: You gotta get on that.  I'm 37 and I've only complimented four men in my entire life about their ass and you definitely have a nice ass.
Me: Thanks.

And then we exchanged goodbyes and My picked me up.  What a great compliment to get from a black person.  Black people know great asses and apparently someone likes mine.  Anyways, continuing with the great day.  My picked me up and wanted to take me to a restaurant called Scend's.  When we got there we found parking right in front and we went in and looked around.  Nobody there.  And by nobody I mean patrons.  The owners and workers were standing around and My asked for a table for two.  They told us that they were actually closed for cleaning and they were replacing some kitchen stuff.  I jokingly said, "But I came all the way from San Francisco!"  The lady there told us that the day before an entire family drove up from San Jose when they were closed and she had to turn them away.  We chatted a bit more before we left and we wished them a happy new year on the way out.  We sat in the car in our parking spot thinking of what we should eat.  As we sat there, the owner came out and knocked on the window.  My rolled down the window and the owner asked us if we wanted to have some fried chicken.  She offered to cook something up for us even though the restaurant was closed.  I'm pretty sure she would've made us pay for the food but it was just a really nice gesture.  She said she felt so guilty she didn't want us to leave empty handed.  I don't care what anyone else says, Oakland folks are nice.  I love colored folks.

Somehow we ended up eating pizza and a spot called Lanesplitters.  I ended up eating three slices which was about half of a 19" pizza.  Yes I am fat and yes it was delicious.

Me and Ya drove down to San Jose and picked up Kevin for the Sharks game.  Kevin brought down some beers for us and we drank after we parked.  The game was intense.  First period was a little boring until the final 5-7 minutes or so.  After that the entire game was pretty high-energy.  The Washington Capitals are one of the top ranked teams and have the most electrifying player today.  Alexander Ovechkin.  The Great Eight.



^HD available and recommended.



Two of my favorite goals by Alexander Ovechkin.  The game was incredible.  In the final minutes, one of my favorite D-men, Douglas Murray, and Alexander Ovechkin really got into it.  Ovechkin put three really good hits on Murray in the same shift.  It was an intense ongoing battle between the two.  I've never seen Murray take so many hits.  Murray held his own and fought back and put a few good checks on Ovechkin.  That was definitely the match up of the night.  And what's even better, our section was selected randomly to receive free Chipotle burritos!  The HP Pavillion crew passed out cards to receive a free burrito for everyone in our section.  It was a take-one-pass-it-down-honor-system type of deal.  We all just took one since we wanted to be fair.  To add to that, the Sharks also scored more than four goals which means FREE PIZZA!  Not really.  It's a free personal one topping with any purchase or $5 off any Large or X-Large pizza.  Probably will claim it tomorrow as I only have a few days left to claim it.  The only thing that could've made it better would have been the Chipotle Hat Trick.  If any player scores three goals, everyone gets a free burrito.  Pavelski was one away from having a hat trick.  Oh well.  Sharks won 5-2 in a highly anticipated match featuring two of NHL's best hockey teams this season.  I wish more people were interested in hockey.  There's no one to talk to about this stuff.

After the game, Kevin gave me a ride back to San Francisco.  It was about 11PM and we were looking for something to do.  We made some calls and it turned out that it was Sterling's birthday and people were drinking at Yancy's.  Kevin decided not to go so he dropped me off there.  It was a good night.  Met a stranger and talked to her for a bit while everyone was outside smoking.  She invited me over to another bar cause her friends were there but I respectfully declined since everyone was having fun at Yancy's.  Had some drinks and hung out with the good folks there.  After the bar closed, Gary and I tried to go look for food, but we ended up just going home. 

That was Wednesday.  Great day right?  Thursday was good too.  I scheduled lunch with a friend at 1.  I completely spaced.  I was up at 10 and completely forgot.  I sat around watching TV and playing Gameboy the entire morning.  By 1 o'clock, I decided to go run.  I put on my running shoes and went up to my room to grab my phone.  Five missed calls and three texts messages.  I totally forgot about lunch with my friend and had to call her back to get some more time to get ready.  We ended up at Sai Jai Thai after she said she didn't want BBQ for lunch.  After lunch we went to Zephyr's and just talked until they closed.

The NYE night started off really late.  I was hooked on my mom's Chinese series and completely lost track of time.  By the time the disc was over, it was 10:15.  I called around and plans got changed.  Andy and Kevin decided to do the Polk street crawl instead of Brenda's house party.  I was ready to call it a night and just stay in to play COD: MW2 but I convinced Brian to go.  He picked me up and we went to meet everyone on Polk.  By the time we got into the first (and only) bar on Polk, it was 11:30.  The countdown was disappointing.  Nothing special and we didn't stay at the bar too long.  We decided to bail and go to a house party.  That's where the night really began for me.  Met some good people, had a few drinks, had some food, and had a blast.  Didn't get to bed until 5AM.

Tonight will be my chance to catch up on some rest.



CALL OF DUTYYYYY!!!

Until next time,

Go Sharks.

-Alex Thunderlips

Broken raptop = less online time.

Super caked on, super shopped, or maybe both but still beautiful. Because I have time, this will be a long read.  Make sure you have relieved your bladder and bowels before reading on.  Grab your favorite drink and snack and enjoy.

So, as of yesterday, my laptop caught the 700m pandemic going around.  The back light is loose or blew out leaving the monitor another desolate screen that once displayed beautiful vibrant images of the young lady pictured above.  I've been reading up on forums and this is quite common amongst 700m owners.  This happened to my brother almost exactly a week ago and somehow my laptop caught the disease.  Since the screws on the bottom panel have been frayed and stripped to being almost unscrewable (<


This weekend I decided to be a hermit and stay in.  Not much is going on anyways.  That I know of.  Plenty of activities that I can do indoors anyways.

This week, I received many packages from various online purchases made on the week of Black Friday and Cyber Monday.  Got my two portable hard drives from Dell a few days ago, my Tekken 6 Fightstick bundles, and my copy of Fearless: Platinum edition.  I spent much of the morning backing up all my files from my laptop and then putting all my music on the new hard drive.  Still en route are my other two external hard drives that I plan on returning, four books from Borders, and my clothes from Urban Outfitters.  Since receiving the fight sticks, I've been catching up on my SF2HD.  Purchase of the game via Xbox Live was made possible by my sister and her 10 friends, Andy, Doug, and Calvin.  Thanks!  Next game purchase will be Ikaruga, which I'm 400 points away from buying.  After playing twice online, I have come to the conclusion that Xbox Live players are much more competitive and unforgiving than their Playstation network counterpart.  

To test out the game after I first downloaded it, I played one game online and destroyed my competition.  This was at 7:45 AM right before I started doing my business to get ready for work.  I shut off the system and went to work.  I came back to a message by the person I played saying "Run scrub run".  I replied "It was 7:45 AM in San Francisco.  I was testing the game before I left for work.  Some of us are actually employed."  No response back.  Then a few days ago I had some time and decided to give it another go online.  I played one on one with some random guy and lost 8-10 (ish) before quitting since dinner was ready.  Minutes later, I received a voice message from him saying "You know why I played you like an ass hole?  Because you were using Zangief.  Playing one on one.  How cheap can you get.  Fuck you suck at this game."  First off, SF2HD is a one on one game.  How else can you play it?  One vs. two?  Ridiculous.  Secondly, if the developers put certain moves in the game, they want you to use it.  It's the same reasoning they add cheats in video games.  Games go through rigorous testing to balance characters and certain characters naturally have different functions otherwise every character would be the same.  I was practicing my Zangief's crouching jab+jab to 360 with LP (Andy you know what I'm talking about).  Basically the combo at 1:48. 



Needless to say, I caught him enough times (almost twice a round) to make him angry.  Probably got two or three perfects too.  So far, that's two for two.  Two ass holes in two sessions of SF2HD.  If I hadn't flashed my Xbox, I would have definitely reported this guy.  I do not want to cause trouble for myself.  Oh, the limitations resulting from illegal mods...

At work yesterday, our group held it's annual end-of-the-year party.  I spent the first two hours of work zoning out and napping while waiting for the company lunch.  The admin came around at 11 and asked me to go with her to pick up the food (our lunch was catered).  I said yes hoping to get to know her better since she was the youngest person in our group.  She's probably around 28.  The next youngest person is probably in their early 40s.  It's an old bunch.  After we picked up around ten trays of food, I called the team from the car to come help bring the food in.  I asked one of my coworkers to bring four or five other people to help unload the food.  After handing out all the trays to them, I realized there was nothing left for me to carry.  One of my coworkers, H a r s h i t (yes, his name is H a r s h i t and I realize it's one letter away from being Hardshit and I'm spacing out the name to avoid google searches), joked around saying that I called all of them to do all the lifting.  During the lunch, our boss, Jimmy, made gave a speech and thanked the admin for organizing the event and ordering the food and then thanked me for "being the muscle."  Harshit immediately pointed at me and smiled knowing that I didn't carry any of the trays.  I interrupted Jimmy and told him that other people helped.  Harshit busted me out saying, "Yea, Alex called all of us to carry all the food!"  Jimmy then congratulated me on my upper management skills in pawning off all the work on other people.  I guess I am management material after all.  This became a running joke throughout the party which I thought was pretty hilarious. 

Okay.  Here comes the inevitable rant of the entry.  After the lunch, the group has a traditional white elephant gift exchange.  The rules are, the gift must be a minimum of $25 and cannot be a recycled gift from the years before.  THAT'S IT!  The rules of the game in this case, was a gift can be stolen up to three times before being locked up.  The gift I bought was a large dream dictionary and Snuggie, which I personally think is a decent gift.  I drew number 20 of 50 (there were 33 people).  First pick by first person, 7" digital photo frame.  Obviously from the boss, Jimmy, and guaranteed to be stolen.  Here's why.  All the other gifts were lame beyond compare.  But before I get to the horrible list of gifts, let me first share with you the sequence of events involving myself since this is my blog.  Now this is where the game takes a horrible turn.  There was nothing I wanted to steal (you'll see why) when it was my turn, so I chose a gift from the pile.  I picked one that was relatively large with a nice heft to it.  Inside was an inflatable twin mattress (with pump).  This was definitely one of the better gifts, but I thought no one would want to steal it.  I was wrong.  A few turns later H  a r s h i t stole it from me and I decided to pick another from the pile.  At this point, after watching several picks, I came to the conclusion that anything that was horribly wrapped came from a male gifter and was almost certainly something tech-y.  I picked the third to the ugliest one because of the shape of the box.  Inside was a very good gift compared to the rest.  A clock radio with side speakers and a dock for Ipods. 

 

Something like that but not as nice of a model.  Definitely will get stolen.  A few turns pass and Serena, another coworker, steals my gift.  This was fairly upsetting because we were getting down to the wire on unopened gifts and I did not see anything worth stealing.  I took another gamble and picked another poorly wrapped gift.  This is what I got stuck with:

What...the...fuck...  Seriously?  A fucking DTV converter box?  A gift that was probably free from a government rebate?  At this point the entire room started laughing because they knew I picked gift that was almost certainly unwanted by everyone in the group.  This group of people have no fucking respect for the people who actually play the game with decency.  Now, for the list of the worst gifts:

• A T-shirt.  Obviously NOT worth $25
• A small twist-chopper thing and a bowl
• A pen set
• USED billiard balls.  Obviously repackaged poorly with loads of tape.  The cue ball had scuff marks on it.  Who would give this as a gift at white elephant?  What percent of people actually own a personal table and can use this?!
• Cheap wine that was clearly for the budget-conscious
• A teddy bear with candy.  There's always seems to be one jackass who does this (no offense to Dillon or David whoever brought that stuffed animal last time)
• A fucking step ladder.  A STEP LADDER!!! WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE DO THAT!? The best part about this gift was the wrapping.  Black garbage back.  With a step ladder in it.  Of course it was the last gift picked
• A tea kettle.  A fucking tea kettle.  And not just any tea kettle.  A tea kettle that clearly was a few years old.  The box was faded and scuffed up horribly and looked like someone bought it at Ross.  Don't get me wrong.  I love Ross.  But this clearly was the worst gift and there is no way it could have been worth more than $10.  The person who picked this had it stolen from Jimmy.  Every year, Jimmy bails out the person with the crappiest gift when it's his turn to pick.  That way the person with the crapiest gift (at the time) gets another choice.  Jimmy was sixth to draw meaning that the people who picked the crappier gifts could not be bailed out.  Like me.
  
• And of course the DTV converter box

Why?  Why do people do these things?  No respect for the game or their coworkers.  Some people at least have the decency to play the game with honor.  Highlights of "good" gifts:

• 7" digital photo frame
• 8GB flash drive (two people gifted them.  One Sandisk and one generic brand which any tech-y can tell you is not $25 but at least people want these)
• Safeway giftcard
• Clock with Ipod/dock
• Set of four great looking tumblers
• An emergency road-side kit.  Probably one of the most useful gifts.  Included jumper cables, gloves, flares, other tools, an orange cone, and other miscellaneous items.  

Jesus fucking Christ.  At least if I'm there next year I know I can get away with bringing crap gifts like a DTV converter box.  My god...  Work people are ridiculous.   If I had written this yesterday, you can bet that I would have used more profanities but I have cooled down a bit since then.  Worst white elephant in the history of white elephants.  While the gifts obviously sucked, it was pretty funny to see people making fun of everyone else for their poor gifts.  Overall, it was a fun experience even though I walked away with one of the worst gifts of all time.  People were even joking that the reason why someone gifted it was because they lost their rebate form and such.  I was a little sad that everyone didn't really like the gift that I brought either.  My manager actually picked my gift and tried desperately to give it away.  My gift ended up being stolen once and traded at the end of the game so at least a few people liked it.  There was actually another gifter who bought a Snuggie and combined it with a pair of Slipper Genies

To clean your floors while you walk around the house.  At the end of the game, I told Serena that my friend just got a pool table recently and that if she didn't want the billiard balls that she picked then I would be happy to take them.  She said that she didn't want to just give it away and didn't want to trade me for my DTV converter which is completely understandable.  But then another coworker said, "Just give it to Alex.  You have no reason to keep it."  She replied, "Oh, it's ok.  I'll just throw it around or something."  Bitch.  Huge bitch.  Let me tell you some of the things she's done.  My coworker Gary set up a slide show presentation of his trip to Europe with his girlfriend.  One of the pictures showed them in front of a very expensive store.  I forget if it was Gucci, Prada, or something like that but when that picture came up Serena blurted out "Oh that store is expensive.  You guys probably didn't buy anything from there cause you can't afford it huh?"  Everything she says is me, me, me.  "Oh look at what I've done.  I'm better than you at everything.  Everything I do is great and everything you do is wrong.  I'm right.  And everything that's yours is cheap stuff."  Clearly not true.  Before I moved my mattress back from San Jose, I was telling her that I had some back problems because of my mattress.  Her immediate response was "Oh you probably have a cheap mattress.  I have a very expensive mattress and it's very good."  Bitch I've been using the same mattress since I grew out of a crib.  What a fucking bitch.  And another time she was walking around holding a CD and asked me "Can I use your T-shirt to wipe off the gunk on the CD?" Uhh... No.  "Why are you being so stingy? Just let me wipe it with your shirt."  Ok.  One.  My mama bought me this shirt and it was one of my favorite shirts and I'm not letting some bitch use it to wipe shit off a CD.  Two.  Just because it's a T-shirt doesn't mean it's cheap.  It was an expensive T-shirt.  Three.  You have a fucking shirt.  Use yours.  "But my shirt is expensive and it's not made of cotton."  Shut up.  I dress the way I dress because it's comfortable and I don't have to try and impress you fuckbags at work who mean less than nothing to me.  Want to fire me for the way I dress? Fine with me.  What a fucking bitch.  Learn some manners.  How are you married? -End rant.

This week I moved my Xbox up to my room which finally allowed me to plug my USB somewhere and catch up on my shows.  I am up to date with HIMYM, BBT, Community, 30 Rock, and finally got a chance to watch the episode of SNL where Taylor Swift was hosting.  Next up is Modern Family, FlashForward,  White Collar.  I have all of Heroes for this season but will probably delete them before I watch it.  I quit Heroes.  Community is one of the funniest new shows on television.  It will definitely be renewed for at least another season and hopefully longer.  On the other end of the spectrum, Monk aired it's final episode of the series last night.  I'm about six or seven episodes behind and have not yet downloaded any episodes.  From what I've been hearing, the ending is going to be awesome.  I will definitely miss this show.  Upcoming shows to look forward to include 24 and Chuck.

Sharks played the Calgary Flames at the Tank tonight but couldn't come out with a win.  The Flames' goalie was phenomenal and made save after save.  McLaren had another fight but took a beating.  I like the way this kid plays.  Sticks up for his team mates and does not take crap from anyone.  I think in the last three games, he was in a fight in each game.  But rather than bore you with statistics that you don't care about, I would like to share an interesting tidbit I heard while watching the last game.  There is a contest of sorts to come up with the best nickname for the first line of the Sharks.  Currently, San Jose's top line is Patrick Marleau, or Patty, Joe Thornton, or Jumbo, and Danny Heatley, or Heater.  The first name that the announcer's said was "Team Canada".  A nickname they said was too generic and overused.  Second nickname was "The Great White" (because they're Sharks duh).   This was kind of interesting.  But the third was definitely the best.  Someone suggested their line be called "The Burger" line.  A Jumbo, Heated Patty.  Genius.  Next game will be at home against the L.A. Kings.  A game that I have tickets to.  Should be a great game considering they are not only division rivals, but it's also a battle of California. 

Big thanks to Gary who gave me his remaining Magic cards.  Haven't had the chance to go through everything but it's a good amount of cards.  From what I have gone through, I didn't see anything of value to my main deck.  Still very nice of him to give me his cards.  Wiltron get ready. 

That's all for now.

Until next time,

Beware of the Red Cyclone.

-Alex Thunderlips

A little bit of everything at once.

Rappers and singers with accents are awesome.  For a long time I didn't understand how an accent could make a woman hot, but in the past few years it's been growing on me.   I guess when I would think of a hot girl it would be more superficial.  Now, I notice more things beyond physical appearances that are very attractive.  Accents is one of them. 

It's been a hectic week or so which means no blogging.  To catch you up on my life, my post will be a significantly long one to try and cover all bases.  It will not be told in chronological order, but in the order that the events come to me as I am typing.  And the story begins with a dream.

Two nights ago, I had another bizarre dream.  In this particular dream, Andy, Chadwick, and I were all sitting down having a nice afternoon meal at some Chinese restaurant.  Out of the blue, some Arab guy, about our age, ran in the restaurant and told us that the Arabian mob was following him.  He asked if he could sit with us because he was scared of the people after him.  So being the good people that we are, we told him he could sit with us.  Then, a whole mess of people came spilling in the doorway looking for this guy.  Sure enough, it was the mob the guy was talking about.  They didn't see him right away so they sat down at a table and began scoping the place out.  All of a sudden one of the guys recognizes the guy at points at our table.  Without even getting up, they all pull out their pistols and uzis and start spraying in our direction.  I duck out of the way but Andy, Chad, and the Arab guy just sit there - backs straight, chin up, without flinching.  Bullets are flying and hitting them in the face and chest but bouncing off.  The three of them just look at the mob and shrug it off.  I ask, "What the hell just happened?"  Then I look over and see Brian in the corner of the restaurant and he says "How did you do that?!"  Andy and Chad explained that they had used an anti-bullet spray on themselves which makes them immune to all gunfire.  Brian looks over at me and I'm still ducking.  He asks me "Did you use it too?"  I give him the eye and reply "If I had used it would I be ducking?!  Of course I didn't use it!"  He stares back at me and says "I don't believe you."  Then he pulls out his own pistol and shoots me in the chest.  What...the...hell...  I look down and I'm bleeding and I can feel the bullet lodged in my lungs.  I start to panic and experience a shortness of breath.  Then I woke up.  I can't believe Brian didn't believe me.  He dream-murdered me.

The evening before that, Andy, Chadwick, Gary and I went to Poleng Lounge for Kate and Annie's birthday.  I pass by it every day on the 5 on my way to work but I never really noticed it.  It was dead and we ended up just sitting down and chatting.  It wasn't that bad except for the part where I got tricked into donating money to hurricane victims.  Now, I'm a victim too.  Had a couple of beers there and then took off to meet one of Andy's friends at Ambassador.  It was my first time there but it seemed like an okay spot.  Not too bad.  Just hung out with the boys for a while and challenged Gary to a chugging contest.  The first one was too close to call but the second round I beat him by about a half of a second.  It was pretty intense.  I knew I had the second round even though Chadwick had his money on Gary.  The official record is 1-1-1 and Gary said every time we go to a pub we should continue the tradition.  Sounds like fun.  Then we went to some pizza place across the street and it was delicious.  Greasy food after alcohol always tastes good.  Gary let me have a few bites of his slice since I didn't want to eat a whole one.  Still watching my weight.  And it's working. 

Been spending most of my time this week applying to two programs for graduate school.  Unfortunately, I think it may have been a complete waste of time.  The deadline is December 1 and I have not received any of the three letters or recommendations that I asked for.  But, I realized yesterday, that this may in fact work out in my favor.  The program I am applying to begins in Fall 2010, but the program also has a second session beginning in Spring.  If I change my application for the Spring semester, it will give me more time to complete my 18 month contract at Wells Fargo.  I guess there's always an upside.  I can't believe I'm becoming a glass-half-full kind of guy.  The program that I really want to be in has an April deadline so there's plenty of time for that one.  Probably will have a sit down meeting with the program director in the next month or so.  She seems really nice.

About this gun law situation.  Apparently it is legal to carry a gun as long as it's holstered, unloaded, and not concealed.  If I had known that earlier, I would have carried a gun everywhere.  I'm preferable to the p228.  Nice and compact.  It really only takes one bullet to kill someone if you know what you're doing, so I don't need a giant magnum or anything silly like that.  A simple p228 will do the job.  If I don't kill them with the first shot, I'll at least have immobilized the person.  Time to exercise my rights granted to me by the second amendment. 

Something has been bothering me for the last half year or so.  Ever since Chadwick's brother started playing Magic (the Gathering of course), I got sucked back into it.  I really don't mind except for the fact that I have no one to play with other than him.  Also, it sucks that sometimes it's all I think about.  I know this makes me sound like a loser but I don't care.  Sometimes all I do is think about how much better I could make my deck if I had certain cards.  I've actually gone out of my way to ask people I know who used to play to see if they had these cards.  It's just annoying knowing that my deck has not met its full potential.  But it's also satisfying to know that it beats Wilton's decks more than 50% of the time.  And it's even more satisfying knowing that he gets angry when he loses.  I love winning... I doesn't matter if I win against a four year old or a 90 year old.  Winning is winning.  FnF reference.  I need some howling mines.  When I get really desperate to play, I'll just walk down to the comic store.  There's always nerds there.  I have to buff up my deck first though so I don't get embarrassed.  I sometimes think about how awesome it would be to walk into the comic book store as an unknown and challenge everyone there.  They'd have no idea what my deck is capable of.  Yes. I am a loser.

Last night I finally got a chance to listen to the Howard Stern rant about religion and Kirk Cameron's ridiculous arguments for public schools to not just include intelligent design, but make it the main topic of science classes.  I don't like to use profanity in my blog but what a fucking tool.  Howard Stern made a lot of great points about religion and argued that evolution is the only thing that should be taught in public schools.  Agree 100%.  Kirk Cameron is such a douche.  These are the people that are so completely ignorant they just make me want to punch their babies.  Listen to this if you have time.  Part 1 of 2, totaling about 18 minutes. 



Black Friday is coming up.  I'm scheduled to work but if there are deals that I have to line up for then I might have to call it a half day.  I worked a half day on Thursday and my boss let me count it as a full day.  That's four hours of work for free.  I hope she'll let me keep the eight hours on record if I take a half day on Friday too.  This year, I'm looking for a new TV for my room.  Looking for at least a 46", 1080p, 120Hz LCD.  Brand isn't so important but I definitely would prefer a Samsung, Sony, Sharp, or maybe a Vizio.  Other than the TV, there's not much to line up for.  Also on my list for "wants" but not necessarily something I'd skip work for is a flash drive, a microsd card, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia DVD seasons 3-4 + A Very Sunny Christmas, Monk (the seasons I don't have but I'm not sure which ones they are), Fearless Platinum edition, some board games, a new laptop, and maybe some other stuff, but those are the things I can name off the top of my head.  This is, of course, assuming there are amazing deals.  I have a price in mind for all of those items.  We'll see how it is when I get all the ads. I'd also like my own PS3.  There's no point of buying a blu-ray player when you can buy a PS3.  I figure when I move out I'll want my own anyways so if it's cheap, I'll probably end up buying one.  I know I will eventually.

That's all for now.  I'm also trying to think of a more creative sign off.  There needs to be more pizazz to my closing signature.  Time to experiment.

Until next time,

Stay classy San Francisco

-Alex Thunderlips

Dream a little dream.

Last night I had one of the most random dreams I can remember.  It began with me and my mom shopping at Safeway and for some reason there was a Chinese barbecue area.  My mom lined up to buy a roast duck and I looked behind the counter and saw a guy passed out with a zip loc bag of mushrooms in front of him.  When I turned to look at the food, my mom had already started walking away.  I followed her and within a few feet of walking she started to spasm uncontrollably and started flailing her limbs in every direction.  When I asked her what the hell was wrong with her she said she stole the guy's mushrooms and ate it.  She was having a majorly bad trip.  Then Gary came out of no where and I forgot why but we started arguing.  It escalated and we started swinging.  I remember getting a few good licks in but I was completely overwhelmed and dominated by his strength (which is how I'd imagine a real fight with Gary would be).  Then, as the fight ended, I started to walk away but Gary came up behind me and hugged me from behind and said "Gary Wu laab you..."  It was weird.  Next thing I know I'm trying to stop an altercation between two of my friends, both named Frances.  Some other weird stuff happened and I went to meet up Andy.  We walked around the streets and he asked if I wanted to go watch him in an eating competition.   It was a competition at Subway where the eaters must eat a one foot open face sandwich (I have no idea why) as fast as possible.  I told him I couldn't go since I had to prepare for the GRE exam (which is really true).  Then I woke up.

Sharks win.  Boring game.  Clowe fought some jackass near the end of third which was pretty good.  Vesce had his first NHL goal.  Overall sloppy play though.  Congratulations San Jose but your next matchup will probably be your most difficult of the season thus far. 

-Alex Thunderlips