I feel like blogging. But I have too much to say and don't feel like typing. If only I had one of those speech-to-text programs so I can just talk. Here's the gist.
The past few days have been tremendously strenuous emotionally and mentally. I have been struggling to keep my composure and fear that I could lose it at any second. Yes, I know you're thinking I am a drama queen.
I was thinking about my life and the lack of direction in it. When I think about myself, I always saw myself as a mediocre person. Someone in the middle stuck in the middle - lost in the shuffle and unnoticed in the mix of things. But today I thought, "What if I'm not even mediocre? What if I'm so far from mediocre that I've been kidding myself thinking I even come close?" Then I start thinking about life itself and blah blah blah. While I appreciate the people and things I have in my life, I am finding it very difficult giving anything back to the people who have given me so much. I'm starting to feel a little helpless. But mostly useless.
Just rambling on... Bring on the delusions of grandeur caused by my mental breakdown.
-Alex Thunderlips
3 comments:
Let me start by saying.. that you in your own wonderful self and personality are a blessing, and I've always thought of you as a safe haven because I know I can trust you and I can rely on you.
Lack of direction and motivation is something that I can understand and yes it is frustrating. VERY frustrating. But at the end of the day, you just have to know that you're being the best person you can be, even if you're not exactly the most successful or accomplished person by society's standards!
Just be your own, wonderful self. That's all people really want you to give!
Hey Alex. I have stumbled upon your blog because Chad has been so lazy in updating.
Someone once told me "B students run the world." Because she was explaining to me that there were so many of us that may not be the best students or the best athlete but there are other things about us that make us "mediocre" students special. Not everyone is going to be Michael Jordan or Kim Yu-Na, but damnit we run the world.
- Angel
Yea, I know what you're saying about the text-speech thing. There are times when I'm showering or driving and I think of all these things to blog but end up forgetting it later on.
you're da bomb
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